Butterfly
by Empress of the Eclipse
Summary: Matt has to say goodbye to Tai. How can he give him a decent send-off? Fluffy Taito.


Butterfly  
By Starrysapphire  
  
Disclaimer - Digimon isn't mine. Neither is the song Butterfly. This is actually the Japanese theme music for Digimon (it's a great tune, I can't believe they changed it!) Sailor Goo-chan, Yaoi Senshi recently sent me the lyrics (thank you Goo!) and I got inspired by them and wrote this. Um, slushy Taito. Fluff. Yes, another sappy Taito fic. I know I've been writing lots of recently. Hey, you'd write a load of daft fluff if you had recently written 'Dear Brother' and 'Dear Koibito' and were in the middle of a rather painful Taito story which is showing signs of ending unhappily ever after. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this.  
  
I'm using Tai's Japanese last name as a direct flaunt to Saban who changed it. Idiots (if you want a possible hint as to why they changed it, read it backwards!)  
  
Matt was lying slumped on his bed. He was staring at the ceiling. Strangely enough, the ceiling wasn't helping him with his problem (although Matt had spotted a series of cracks which looked like a landscape).  
The problem was Taichi Yagami.   
Matt had fallen completely and totally in love with him.  
It had been pretty unexpected and as far as Matt could see, it had happened over night. One day, Tai had just been a close friend and a bit of a baka sometimes. Then one day, Matt had bumped into his friend in school and thought 'Wow'. And that was that. Matt was in love.  
Matt growled and glared at the landscape on his ceiling.  
"Why Tai?" he asked out loud "Why Tai? I mean, a guy would have been bad enough. It would have meant me admitting that I was gay for a start. But Tai? My best friend who happens to be dating his best friend! Yeah. Great choice Yamato."  
"Matt? Are you talking to yourself in there?"  
Matt stuck his tongue out at the door before shouting "No Dad, I'm talking to the little green gnomes who live under my bed!"  
"That's okay then. We wouldn't want you to be going mad!" his father yelled back.  
Matt had to laugh. Then his gloom came back.  
What was he supposed to do now? If he kept this a secret, he was going to go completely bonkers. But how could he tell Tai that he'd fallen in love with him?  
Maybe if he could find out if Tai liked him even a little....  
Matt began to consider his sources. TK and Kari were very close friends. TK would keep any secret Matt told him. Matt could tell TK, who could discreetly question Kari. That might work!  
Matt lay back, grinning cheerfully to himself.  
* * * *  
In another part of town, the last thing Tai felt like doing was smiling.  
"But Dad!" he yelled "We can't! We just can't! I don't want to!"  
"Tai, I've already told you and explained it to you" his father said wearily "There isn't a choice in the matter. We're moving in a month whether you like it or not!"  
"But my friends are here!" Tai wailed "My friends are here, my school's here, my....everything's here!"  
His father just looked at him and Tai stormed off into his room. Kari was already in there, sitting on the bed cuddling one of her stuffed cats. Her face was very pale but she wasn't crying or shouting or doing anything.  
"How can you be so calm?" Tai demanded "We're moving! Moving! We'll be in America and never see any of the others again!"  
Kari sniffed and squeezed her cat tighter.  
"Don't be silly," she said, her voice quavering slightly "Of course we'll see the others again! And it'll be exciting to go to a new country and a new school and we'll make other friends..."  
"How can you say that?" Tai snapped "It'll be horrible!"  
Kari began to cry and Tai quickly regretted what he'd said. He knew that his sister was scared and was as upset at he was. He scrambled up to join her and put his arms round her.  
"I'm sorry Kari," he said "You're probably right. It's just..."  
He stopped. How could he tell Kari that he didn't want to move because he'd fallen in love with Matt Ishida?  
Tai hadn't meant to fall in love. He'd always been slightly more fond of the idiotic blonde than he was of most people but he'd never thought it went beyond a close friendship. Then one day he'd just started looking at him in a different light and POW! Tai was completely head-over-heels for him. So far, he hadn't been able to summon up the courage to tell his friend.  
And now they were moving and he'd never see Matt again...  
Tai started to cry too.  
* * * *  
The next day, Matt ran into Tai in school. 'Ran into' was literal. Matt was late for a lesson and was running when he slammed straight into Tai (who hadn't been looking where he was going) sending them both flying.  
"Sorry!" Matt said, scrambling up "Are you okay?"  
He noticed that Tai looked pale and tired and not particularly focused.  
"Yeah," Tai muttered.  
Matt wanted to press but he didn't want to be late. He nodded and snatched up his stuff.  
"Matt."   
He looked at Tai.  
"Yeah?"  
Tai looked around "Will you meet me later? There's something I need to tell you."  
"Sure," Matt said "Where?"  
"Out behind the trees," Tai said "At lunch?"  
Matt nodded.  
"See you then!"  
Then he dashed off to class, wondering what was wrong with Tai.  
* * * *  
At lunch, Matt went off to meet his friend. Tai was already there, pulling up grass.  
"Hey," Matt said, sitting down next to his friend.  
Tai looked at him. Matt was shocked to that his eyes were filled with tears.  
"Tai, what's wrong?" he asked anxiously "What's the matter?"  
Tai swallowed. He didn't seem able to get the words out. A butterfly fluttered past them, landing on Tai's fingers, fluttering its brightly coloured wings at them.  
"Pretty," Tai said "Isn't it strange? They say that a butterfly flapping it's wings in New York can start a hurricane in China. Or is it the other way round? I can't remember."  
"I think it's that way round," Matt said uncertainly. This hadn't been what he was expecting. The butterfly took off, flying away though the trees.  
"It must be nice to be a butterfly," Tai said sadly "Free to do whatever you like and not to worry about everyone else."  
Matt looked at his friend anxiously. What on Earth was Tai on about?  
"Tai," he said "What's the matter? Tell me."  
"We're moving," Tai blurted "In a month. Dad's had this transfer at work or something. It means more money I think. Anyway, we're going to move. We're moving to America!"  
Matt felt like someone had punched him.  
"America?" he whispered.  
"Los Angeles," Tai said "We're getting some English lessons so we'll be able to manage. My parents are already sorting out schools..."  
"That's....." Matt tried to think of something positive to say which wouldn't sound too forced but Tai cut him off.  
"It's awful!" he cried "It's awful! We have to leave! We're going into a new country, to a new place, where we don't even speak the language fluently! It's going to be a nightmare and I'll never see any of you ever again and..."  
His voice cracked and he started to sob. Matt wrapped his arms round his friend and held him close.  
"Oh Tai," he whispered "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."  
"I don't want to go!" Tai sobbed "I don't want to leave everyone!"  
"I know," Matt said "I don't want to lose you either."  
He blushed when he realised what he'd said, thought how it sounded. Tai didn't even seem to notice, just kept crying, soaking Matt's shirt. Matt just sat there, cradling his friend in his arms. He didn't care about anything, just wanted to help Tai feel better.  
"Matt."  
He looked down. Tai was staring up at him.  
"There's something I need to tell you," Tai said "I didn't tell you before because I was afraid but now...it doesn't really matter, does it? There's only a month to go before we never see each other again."  
Matt looked at him.  
"Well?" he said.  
Tai took at deep breath.  
"I love you," he blurted "I've been in love with you for a while now. I didn't mean to fall in love but I did."  
Matt stared at him. Tai loved him. Tai loved him! That was all he could think about and for about ten seconds he couldn't speak, just sat there staring at Tai in shock.  
"Matt?" Tai asked, his voice quivering with nerves.  
"I..." Matt looked at him "I love you too."  
Tai blinked, looking stunned. Matt loved him! He did, he'd said it, Matt loved him and nothing else mattered.  
Without saying anything else, he wrapped his arms round Matt and kissed him hard. Matt instantly started to kiss him back, his arms slipping round Tai's body, pulling him on his lap. They leaned back against the tree trunk, kissing each other. Eventually, Matt reluctantly pulled back. Tai tried to kiss him again but Matt gently pushed him off.  
"Tai..." he said "School...public place....remember?"  
Tai sighed mournfully and slid off Matt's lap. The two boys sat there for a while, saying nothing.  
"I'll break up with Sora," Tai said.   
"Are you sure?" Matt asked "I mean...."  
He paused.   
"Yes," Tai said "I want to be with you, even if it's just for month."  
Matt nodded.  
"Sora's nice," he said "And she's your friend. She'll forgive you."  
Tai nodded. He rubbed his face.  
"I know this'll never..." he said then broke off. Then he tried again "I mean, I'm leaving in a month so this can never..."  
Matt cut him off by hugging him.  
"Let's just do what we feel like," he said softly "Screw common sense."  
Tai nodded. He buried his head in Matt's chest again for a few moments.  
"We'll just be fooling around anyway," he said muffledly "We don't have time to form a big meaningfull romantic relationship."  
Matt shrugged. He couldn't really answer that. Tai sighed and drew away slightly reluctantly.  
"We'd better get back," he said "People might notice our absence."  
Matt nodded. Leaning over, he gave Tai another quick kiss. Then he scrambled up.  
"Let's go."  
The two boys walked back to the school together.  
* * * *  
Two weeks later, Matt was looking at the ceiling landscape again.  
There were two weeks left before his love left him. Okay, so Tai had been exaggerating, they would see each other again but...  
Matt shuddered. He didn't want to lose Tai. The two had spent ever possible moment together, 'fooling around' as Tai had put it, but it still wasn't enough time. Tai had gently broken up with Sora who'd taken it quite well and was now dating some other football player. She didn't even mind that they were together. They'd only told their other close friends about it and no one had reacted badly. In fact, it was working out great.  
Except that Tai was moving away in two weeks time.  
Matt was surprised to realised that he was crying gently, tears rolling down his cheeks. The place would be so empty without Tai. Everything would just be meaningless. But he couldn't mentioned those thoughts to Tai. He knew that Tai was scared of moving. Tai denied it, but he kept letting things slip. He was afraid of looking an idiot because he couldn't speak the language fluently, afraid of having no friends and afraid that Matt would break up with him.  
Matt couldn't understand it. A few days earlier after they'd been kissing in one of the school broom closets, Tai had just started to cry. He'd said that soon this wouldn't happen anymore and that Matt would leave him once he'd moved away, find someone else...  
Matt had sworn that wouldn't happen, that he wanted Tai and no one else. But Tai didn't seem convinced, insisted that eventually Matt's common sense would kick in, that'd he'd been lonely and want someone who was actually there and forget all about Tai. He'd been so upset that he'd got annoyed with Matt and said that Matt was living in a dream world. Normally Matt would have got angry back but he knew what it was like to feel out of control and simply hugged Tai and said that he liked the dream world better than the normal one because Tai was always there. Then Tai had begun to cry again.  
"Matt! Phone for you!"  
Matt went to the phone, hoping it would be Tai. It wasn't. It was one of his friends from the band, reminding him that they needed a new song for their next gig in school. Matt agreed, then hung up. He went back to his room, trying to remember when they were next playing. He looked in his diary.  
It was the day before Tai was leaving him.  
Matt settled down and began to think. He wanted to write something that people would like but that would mean something, that would be special, but not too slushy...  
'It must be nice to be a butterfly...'  
Tai's words drifted back to him. Matt frowned. Then he grabbed a pen and began to scribble on some paper, absently recalling things from many recent converstaions with Tai. An idea was forming in his mind.  
* * * *  
The weeks were passing too quickly for Matt's liking. Tai kept having to pack his things rather than go out anywhere. Matt came over to help him and Kari pack most of the time. He had to limit this though as he and Tai often ended up making out instead of packing. Luckily, Kari was good at ignoring them while she packed and did quite a bit of Tai's work for him. But Tai had to do some of it. He had to weed out unecessary things that he didn't need anymore. His parents didn't want to take to much usless stuff with them. Tai hated losing any of his stuff and to make him feel better, Matt was taking a lot of it. His room was filling up with strange little bits and pieces that Tai couldn't really take but didn't want to lose.  
"Tai," Matt said "You and Kari will be coming to my gig right? The day before you leave."  
Tai nodded.  
"I wouldn't miss it for anything," he said "It'll be the last time I hear you play. I've always loved your playing."  
"I've written a new song," Matt said "I'll be singing it."  
"Great!" Tai said.  
Matt nearly said that he'd written it for Tai but didn't. Somehow, he needed Tai to work out that it was for him. He wasn't going to say anything about it to anyone. It was secretly for Tai, privately. Everyone else could see it however they chose. But Matt would know the meaning. And he hoped that Tai would too.  
* * * *  
Matt couldn't help being nervous at the concert. He could see Tai in the audience, standing with the other Digidestined. They were all going to miss him so much, maybe even as much as Matt was. That was the other reason that Tai and Kari were at the concert. It was the last time that the Digidestined would be together. At least for a long while. Matt swallowed back the pain that came up as he thought about Tai leaving him and the others. Then he and the band went up on stage. For the first part, they sang some songs that everyone knew and liked. Then Matt knew it was his turn for his song. He closed his eyes. Then he began.  
  
"I'll become a happy butterfly and ride on the glittering wind,  
I'll come and see you soon,  
It's best to forget the unnecessary things,  
There's no more time for fooling around.  
  
What do you mean, wo-ohhhhhhh? I wonder if we'll reach the skies,  
But, wo-ohhhhhhhh I don't even know what my plans are for tomorrow.  
  
After an endless dream, in this world of nothingness,  
It's seems as if our beloved dreams will lose,  
Even with these unreliable wings, covered in images that tend to stay,  
I'm sure we can fly on my love."  
  
The crowd was going wild. They were loving it. Matt stared at Tai. Tai was staring back but Matt couldn't see his expression. He kept watching his friend as he concentrated on putting his heart into the song.  
  
"I'll become a merry butterfly and ride on the earnest wind,  
I'll come to see you where ever you are,  
Ambiguous words are surprisingly handy,  
I'll shout it out while listening to a hit song.  
  
What do you mean, wo-ohhhhhhh? I wonder if it'll echo though this town.  
But, wo-ohhhhhhhh There's no use anticipating.  
  
After an endless dream, in this miserable world.  
That's right, maybe not using common sense isn't so bad after all,  
Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay,  
I'm sure we can fly on my love.  
  
After an endless dream, in this world of nothingness,  
It seems as if our beloved dreams will lose,  
Even with these unreliable wings, covered with images that tend to stay,  
I'm sure we can fly, oh yeah.  
  
After an endless dream, in this miserable world,  
That's right, maybe not using common sense isn't so bad after all,  
Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay,  
I'm sure we can fly on my love."   
  
As he finished, the crowd exploded. Matt grinned, a wave of happiness sweeping though him. They'd liked it, they'd really liked it. He looked out at the crowd to find Tai. But he couldn't see him anywhere.  
* * * *  
"Matt!" TK squealed "That was sensational!"  
Matt laughed and picked his excited brother up, even though TK was a bit big for that now. TK was grinning at him.  
"You were great!" TK said "Especially that Butterfly song! Did you write that?"  
Matt nodded.  
"Wow!" TK said "You could be famous Matt! Really. You'll get famous and I'll sponge off your success!"  
Matt nearly doubled up with hysterical laughter. The other Digidestined were congratulating him too. But Matt was already looking...  
"He's over there," Kari said softly. As if on cue, TK wriggled out of Matt's arms  
"You go," he said "We'll see you later, okay? Sora's invited everyone over to her place so you come over when you're done. See you!"  
The others faded away as Matt walked over to where Tai was sitting. Tai turned to face him, tears running down his face.  
"Tai?" Matt said.  
"That was so..." Tai's voice broke off. Then he wrapped his arms round Matt and hugged him tight "You meant it for me, didn't you?"  
Matt nodded, hugging his boyfriend "Yes Taichi, I did. I love you and I won't lose you just because you'll be on another continent. I'll always love you no matter what happens to us. And I'll never, never forget you."  
Tai smiled against Matt's shoulder.  
"Thank you," he whispered.  
"That's okay," Matt said softly "I meant every word of that song."  
Tai kissed Matt lightly on the mouth. Then the two set off walking to Sora's together.  
* * * *  
"You send me a postcard!"  
Sora let go of Tai after nearly suffocating him in her hug and grinned at him.  
"Now," she said "Just because you're in another country gives you no excuse to forget my birthday, or Christmas or anyone else's birthday. We're expecting presents from America!"  
Tai laughed.  
"All right, I promise! Don't worry Sora! And I'll write and phone and everything!"  
"You see that you do!" Sora said. She gave him another hug and let Tai go over to Matt.  
This was the goodbye Tai was truly dreading. He'd said goodbye to everyone else now. It was just Matt.  
The two boys hugged each other tightly. Matt was crying. Tai was surprised that he himself wasn't.  
"I'll come and see you soon," Matt whispered hoarsely.  
"It's best to forget the unnecessary things," Tai whispered back, remembering the next line of the song.  
Matt reached into his back pocket and brought something out.  
"It's a present," he said "Don't open it until you're on the plane okay?"  
Tai nodded. Matt hugged you again.  
"I love you Taichi!" he whispered.  
"I love you too, Yamato," Tai whispered back.  
"Tai! Kari! Time to go!"  
Tai nodded to his mother and gave Matt a kiss on the cheek. He and Kari slowly walked over to their parents, listening to yells of the other Digidestined.  
"Goodbye!"  
"Good luck!"  
"Take care!"  
"Don't forget tell me if you see any famous people in LA!"  
"If you see anyone cute, get their autographs for me!"  
Matt said nothing. He just watched as Tai vanished from sight. TK put an arm around his brother. Matt gave him a small grin and then they all went to watch for when the plane took off.  
* * * *  
When Tai got on the plane, he sat there and waited. He listened to blurb about not listening to personal stereos until they were in flight and getting strapped in and everything. It went over his head. He felt frozen. He strapped in and shivered as the plane took off. This was it. He was leaving everybody, forever. He stared out of the window, watching as the ground fell away beneath them. Tears pricked at his eyelids.  
"Hey."  
It was Kari.  
"What's the present?"  
Swallowing, Tai carefully unwrapped it. It was a tape. Underneath it was a photograph. It was of himself and Matt when they'd been eleven. He was grinning. Matt was wearing his usual sort-of-smile-but-not-exactly thing. Tai waited until the voice said he could, then put the tape in his Walkman and switched in on.  
It was a tape of the concert. Matt must have had it specially done, just for him. He remembered telling Matt that it was the last time he'd ever hear Matt singing. Trust Matt to decide to prove him wrong. Tai fast-forwarded until he heard Matt's voice singing.  
"I'll become a happy butterfly and ride on the glittering wind..."  
Tai leaned back, his eyes closed, tears forgotten. He hadn't lost Matt. He'd never lose Matt. They'd see each other again. And their relationship would last, Tai knew it would.  
Their love would fly on forever.  
  
The End.  
  



End file.
